Ilan N. talks about a variety of struggles and challenges in his transition, despite being very privileged by having access to insurance and a good support network from his family. He speaks about stigma and animosity against phalloplasty within the transman community as well as the side effects of therapies that are often not talked about. He reflects on the recovery post-surgery and the burden on his caregivers and how humor helps to get through difficult conversations and decisions making scary topics easier by making jokes. Concluding that one should not be impacted by the fear of never being good enough or the general perception of a “real” man or woman.